I will always sleep soundly after making up this totally non-fictional fairy-tale.
I was watching my favorite show on tv, Spongebob Weedpants. I was just about to get to the part of the episode where Spongebob sings the "FUN" song, when I heard a knock on the door (even though I HAVE A FRICKIN' DOORBELL).
No one was there when I answered the door except a weird deformed mutated thingy. I closed the door on it ignoring the thought.w
I started playing Pokemans X-Extra-X Vwsion Y, but for some reason the thought of that mutated thingy stuck in my head.
I went out my door to see that thingy still there, I picked it up and it licked me.
AHHHH! IT LICKED MEEEE!!! I INSTANTLY WENT TO WASH MY CURSED FACE!
But it didn't help. I named my thingy a... umm... oh! I know! It's name is Bob!
That night when I went to bed, I tried to sleep but I was awake all night. So I started fapping.
When I finally fell asleep I heard the sound of barking which woke me up. I just knew it was Bob, he was trying to kill me. I felt something sitting on my legs. I stayed in bed, but I needed to use the bathroom. But my fear got the best of me and I wet the bed.
I finally got up to see Bob's eyes bleeding with blood and his eyes were black and red. He got up and bit my big toes off, I woke up in a hospital. But the thing was everyone had the exact same head as Bob. They growled and growled and eventually they all leaped at me...
and bit my dick off.